Relationship Talk

Tonight my hubby and I went on a date.  Normally, we would have one of the grandparents babysit the babies, but tonight we tried something new and loved it!  Our church has a monthly program for members called Parents Night Out and it allows parents to drop their kids off for a few hours to have some alone time to run errands, go on date, etc.  I really like this because the kids get to play with other kids from our church that are around the same age and most importantly, we trust the cute little grandmas that watch our babies (they are also Sunday school teachers) having the love alive between the two of you.  ats your boat, point is, it is about spending qu.  It also only costs $10 for them to watch both of our boys for 3.5 hours, score!  We will definitely utilize this every month!

I think it is so important for parents to have alone time with one another because sometimes it can become only about the kids.  Do not get me wrong, our kids are our world, but nurturing our relationship with one another is equally as important in my book.  Even when we are unable to go out on a conventional date, my love and I will have, cute home dates once we put the boys to sleep.  Some cute ideas we’ve done are:  ordered takeout and had a picnic on the floor with one another, candlelit dinner, dinner (cooked by hubby) and a movie, game night, drinks and dessert or just plain ole snuggle time while watching a movie.  For me, it is about spending quality time with one another and keeping the love alive.  The way we laugh with one another, have deep conversations and simply enjoy one another’s company speaks directly to my love language of quality time.  If you have not figured out your love language and your partner’s, check it out here, http://www.5lovelanguages.com/.  It really is quite interesting and helps you identify your primary love language. 

You also feel rejuvenated and able to better parent after having some alone time with one another.  I can definitely tell you from experience that kids notice any negativity, which is why we really strive to maintain a positive household.  We are not perfect by any means, but we are continuously learning and growing every day.  For instance, Jon and I were recently snippy at one another because we were on edge from sleep deprivation (our kids hate sleep).  I got on to him for never closing the kitchen cabinets or doors when he opens them.  Instead of asking him nicely for the 100^th time to close the cabinets and pantry door, I went off.  He snapped back with a snarky response and boom, an argument ignited.  Isaac was sitting at his table looking at a book and while we were whisper yelling at one another (you know, trying to be all quiet while firing snippy things at one another), I could catch his glimpses at us and then he asked, “Mama are you happy?” “Daddy are you happy?”  That immediately diffused the situation because we realized that we have little ears listening to us at all times and we want to be positive role models for him in every sense.  We then continued having a discussion about the situation, but with a gentler tone and came to a resolution with Isaac witnessing all of it.  We could have squashed the argument and said we will talk more about this later, but we wanted him to see that yes, people who love one another can disagree and get upset, but they can also talk civilly to one another about it and work on a suitable resolve. 

Having kids does not mean you turn into an “old married couple.”  You continue dating and get creative if obstacles threaten to thwart your alone time with one another.   Be that relationship that your kids will want to have with someone when they are older.  Lead by example because little eyes and ears are always taking things in.  

Disgusting and Scary Experience!

At Ian’s 4 month checkup our pediatrician gave us the okay to start him on solids such as rice cereal mixed with breast milk and then after 5 days a fruit or veggie and so forth every 5 days, introducing a new food into his diet.  I thought okay, this is going to go well because Isaac was such a good eater from the jump.  Well I was definitely wrong!  Instead of rice cereal, I opted for single grain organic baby oatmeal mixed with breast milk.  The first 3 times were smooth as ever, he had 2-3 teaspoons followed by breastfeeding and that was that.  Well around the fourth feeding, we noticed he started acting fussy.  It immediately stood out to us because this is not his normal behavior.  He is usually a chill, happy, easygoing baby.  That is when it began.  Our poor baby started throwing up like crazy.  It was so alarming because I remember he was napping, and then all of a sudden woke up screaming, we picked him up immediately and bam!  Throw up splattered all over our wood floors.  And it was not spit up, this was forceful and a lot!!  It happened two times before we were able to rest easy and that is when I decided to give the oatmeal cereal a break.

The following week, I avoided any solids and then decided to try giving him a little mashed up banana with breast milk.  We fed him about 4-5 teaspoons of it and then I breastfed.  I was holding him, burping him and when I thought he was about to burp, bam!  Projectile vomit all over me!  I was calling, “Jon, help!” “Oh my g…” That is when a whole bunch of his vomit flew in my mouth!  I could not believe it!  I was choking up a storm and retching.  Have you ever swallowed baby throw up?  I do not know if you know this, but I am kind of a clean freak (I am crazy because I have two boys, I know lol), so instead of allowing his vomit to get on the couch I sacrificed myself lol.  I cannot even describe how disgusting that was.  Not only did it get in my mouth, but also in my hair, in my bra, in my belly button, yes, in my belly button.  When I tell you, it was a lot, it was like the freaking exorcism lol.  We were shocked and thought that we needed to take him to the hospital because it was insane!  We waited it out and once he got the entire banana out of his system and was calm, I was able to breastfeed him a couple of hours later.  That is when I was like, you know what, Ian is not like Isaac and his little digestive system is just not developmentally ready for solids yet.  We waited until he was 6 months and since then things have been 100% better!  He is able to eat fresh veggies, fruits and oatmeal mixed with breast milk without any problems thus far. 

I look back at that time and realize a couple of mistakes I made.  I should have gone with my gut and not given into pressure by older people around me.  Ian has a sensitive digestive system and I knew this because getting that boy to poop when he was around 3-6 months old was something else.  He would go days and days, up to 11 days without pooping and I had to take him to his pediatrician to get this addressed.  I will discuss this in another posting, but long story short, people around me told me oh yes, he would do well with eating solids because it will help him poop.  Feed him solids the sooner the better.  Wrong, wrong wrong.  Never again will I give into that sort of pressure.  When you know your child, you know.  There is nothing like mother’s intuition.  I personally think it is a gift from God.  I also thought Ian was like Isaac.  Well you know what happens when you assume! 

Our little Ian is almost 9 months and while he is doing well with foods, we are not going to be exposing him to any island food until he is 12 months or older (we love cooking with spice, gotta have that flava!).  We would rather err on the side of caution this time around than putting our guy through that type of discomfort again.  Lesson learned! J  Oh yes, and I hope to never ever ever have to swallow vomit again lol!