What is Going on with my Baby??

Even before Ian’s birth, I knew that I was definitely going to breastfeed, just as I did with Isaac.  However, initially it was not as easy this time around.  He was having problems latching correctly and even though I was now an experienced mama, I still requested the assistance of the hospital lactation consultant because they are the professionals, not me lol.  I did not know what I was doing wrong, and instead of it being an enjoyable bonding experience with my little one, it was becoming increasingly painful.  I knew something was amiss because I could hear him making this clicking sound while breastfeeding and he would frequently break latch to re-latch. 

At first I thought, let me just ignore it because I have not breastfed for a year now, so maybe we both just need to get the hang of things.  I would make sure his lips were flanged out, that he had a good grip, he was gaining weight instead of losing and he was pooping quite regularly.  Oh, yes that reminds me!  Another area of concern for us was that even though Ian was pooping, he was not peeing regularly and at first, it really concerned us.  Our nurses would keep track of the number of soiled diapers and whatnot and when we reported that we still did not have a pee diaper, we started to receive some extra attention.  I remember we would change his diapers like please let there be pee.  Day 3 came around, our nurse came in to check on us and to get a record of number of feedings and soiled diapers and we told her still no pee.  That is when we started to panic.  After the nurse left, my hubby and I were talking and trying to figure out what was going on with our little guy.  Then without warning, my hubby stood up and started digging in the trash like a lunatic.  I was looking like what the heck is he doing up in that nasty trash???  Then he exclaims, “Yes!!”  He presented a dirty diaper full of pee (we saw that blue line on the diaper indicating it was wet from pee)!  Turns out he changed Ian’s diaper on the 2^nd night, but was so tired that he forgot there was pee.  You do not even know how happy we were to have that pee diaper. We immediately showed our nurse.  Let me tell you, as a parent, when your baby does not seem like he is peeing, this will worry you, in fact, anything will worry you, so seeing that pee diaper felt like we won a million bucks!  I remember we were cheering, laughing and high fiving like the nerds we are lol! 

Ok, sorry to digress, back to breastfeeding!  I know some women experience dry, chapped, bleeding nipples, but I never experienced that with Isaac.  I remember he had the whole thing down from the very first latch.  I thought, ok, maybe this is what is going to happen to me this time with Ian, I am going to have some bleeding nipples.  I simply could not accept that though, because instead of enjoying the bonding time with Ian, I started to dread when he would latch.  I tried breastfeeding him in different positions, re-latching him, even the lactation consultant tried everything and told me to just keep at it and if I was still having problems to contact them.  Well, even though I was in pain, I toughed it out and breastfed my baby. 

It was not until we took Ian for his first pediatrician appointment the day after discharge from the hospital that we got some answers.  We made an appointment with another pediatrician filling in for our usual guy (He was on vacay) and I really feel like God made it happen that way.  She examined Ian and asked how breastfeeding was going.  I let her know that it was painful this time around and I was not sure why.  She immediately went into action upon hearing this and discovered that Ian had a clipped tongue.  We were like say what?  I do not know about you, but we never heard of this term and all these panic alarms started going off in our heads.  She told us that it was nothing to worry about and one of her kids used to have a clipped tongue.  They had it taken care of when he was a newborn by an ENT doctor in the area.  She gave us the referral and we were able to get Ian to see the ENT doctor the very same day. 

The ENT confirmed what our pediatrician told us and said that she could take care of his clipped tongue immediately in office if we were up for it.  At first I was like ehh, do I want my baby going through another procedure (he was circumcised in the hospital), maybe I should just tough it out and we can struggle together to figure out what will work best breastfeeding wise?  The ENT comforted us, assuring us that she had done this procedure many times on newborns and that it was very simple and baby would be good to go very soon after.  We decided to go for it!

To prep baby for the procedure, they gave Ian a little bit of sugar water because apparently, that induces endorphins in newborns, acting like a painkiller for them, but naturally.  Then they made the tiniest slice under this tongue. It barely bled and he cried for maybe 5 seconds.  I could not bear to watch it done, but you know his dad was all up in it giving me the play-by-play lol!  We were instructed that he would be able to breastfeed normally after that. 

I waited until we got home to feed Ian and just like that, the pain from breastfeeding started fading away!  He had more mobility of his tongue and was able to latch correctly for feeding.  That procedure made all the difference!!  I was still sore from the previous times he breastfed, but I could tell that it was no longer going to be a struggle for either of us.  That $900 we paid out of pocket was well worth it! 

We learned that if you can sense something is wrong or keeps bothering you about your baby, do not ignore it.  It is always best to address any of your parental concerns, no matter how small they may seem.  Each child is different and we have definitely been learning that through experience! 

Next time I will discuss why we had to slow our roll this time around when it came to feeding Ian solids.

Life with a “Spirited” Toddler

I would say from about 18 months until around 2 years and 7 months old we had a very hmm, let’s see how to say this nicely, a spirited toddler.  What do I mean?  Let me give you some examples.  Have you ever been around a very young child who would scream down the place, throw himself on the floor, pull his hair and scratch his face so viciously that he would draw blood?  Yes, this used to be our son lol!  Oh yes, and let me not forget to mention that he would often do this in public. 

This period was definitely one of the most trying times for my hubby and I as parents and even as a married couple.  We would feel embarrassed, frustrated, hopeless, helpless, confused, saddened and the list of emotions goes on.  The tantrums we experienced were not normal, no, they were epic and by the end of each day, we were exhausted!  We had no clue what to do to end this phase.  However, some things we did know was that these episodes often occurred due to our little one’s inability to express himself/communicate fully.  Some more triggers included if he needed a nap or did not get food fast enough.  Can you say hangry?  Moreover, forget doing something that he did not want to do, oh man. 

I remember we used to say this was retribution for how we behaved as young kids because we definitely believe in karma.  I was the worst toddler (cursing, running around in just underwear and breaking furniture when I got mad) and my hubby was a naughty little boy (he burned down his mom’s backyard with a magnifying glass, something he learned in boy scouts).  I definitely had moments of tears and whenever I felt myself feeling out of control, yes, kids will drive you to this point, I would place him in his crib until I had time to cool down.   Our awesome pediatrician gave us this advice when we asked him how to handle situations like this.  He told us never deal with a toddler when you are angry, instead, put your child in a safe spot and give yourself a time out. 

We also tried everything we could to quell these emotional outbursts, from ignoring, to conceding, to time outs, to spanking, to scolding, to misdirection, to bribery, to hugs and kisses and nothing worked, nada!  We just had to wait it out and that would sometimes be as long as 30 minutes.  The only point where we felt the need to intercede was when he would resort to scratching the skin off his face and his gums.  I would cut his fingernails low so that he would have a difficult time inflicting harm on himself and we would put my hubby’s socks on his arms and tie them like a straight jacked until he calmed down.  Nevertheless, he would still dig into his flesh and gums and always make himself bleed.  I remember taking him to music class several times where it would look like a cat attacked his face (we don’t own a cat) or he fell onto concrete and scratched his face up pretty good.  Not only was this embarrassing, but it was also a constant reminder of what we were dealing with every day, several times a day. 

These tantrums started out occurring only once or twice a week, to a few a day!  We were fed up.  It was so bad that even our parents talked to us about possibly taking him to get a professional diagnosis and help.  That was definitely one of the worst feelings.  We also confined ourselves to home during this period because we were tired of having to deal with people’s stares, the judging looks, the embarrassment of it all and the physical effects it was having on us (trying to restrain a big toddler is a serious workout and you become a punching bag).   I recall taking him with me to one of my doctor’s appointments while preggers and they needed to draw blood from me, so he could not sit on my lap. Well, he was not having that and screamed down the packed doctor’s office.  I had to lift him up while he was kicking and screaming and carry him out.  It also did not help that the entire and I mean the entire waiting room stared us down.  After I buckled him in his car seat, I remember starting the car, calling my husband to tell him what happened and bawling like a baby on the phone to him.  That day I went researching on the mommy boards regarding temper tantrums and reading some of the entries really made me feel better and not so alone.  Another thing, having friends who have been there and done that with their kid(s) helps as well because they can offer advice, relate and not judge you or your kid because they know the deal.

We honestly did not know how we were going to be able to handle our sour patch kid (when he was sweet he was so sweet, but watch out for the sour part!) with a newborn.  We were trying to come up with a game plan for my survival as a stay at home mom.  These were some of the ideas that worked for us: 

-We definitely utilized the grandparents!  They are seriously lifesavers and I honestly do not know what we would do without them because they give us the break and help we need when we were at our wits end. 

-We made a fun playroom for our toddler since I was not about to venture out by myself with him with my huge belly and then have to deal with him physically during a tantrum (his kicking, trying to hit, trying to scratch himself and he’s a big boy as well!).  This helped to dispel any boredom and I used this as a play/learn opportunity. 

-Whenever we did have the courage to venture out, we would make sure it was a very kid friendly environment, but also a place where we could bolt out if need be. 

-We avoided taking him out to restaurants. He just could not handle being there, confined and we were never able to enjoy our meals. 

-And one of the most important things that helped was having a routine.  This made him feel comfortable and secure as he has a difficult time dealing with change.

We eventually became desensitized to temper tantrums on a daily basis that having one a day became a treat for us and we considered that a really really good day!  Then something happened that we immediately took note of, our baby boy was becoming more skilled at communicating, expressing his wants, likes and dislikes and as he began talking up a storm, like magic those epic tantrums disappeared.  It was the most refreshing and joyous feeling ever!!  You want to know the best part?  We finally realized it was just a phase, a long one, but one that we eventually became capable of handling by the grace of God.  Being in that situation and failing repeatedly to find a solution and not giving up taught us about ourselves and about the intense love, we have for our little guy. 

These days, he still has his moments because he is still not even 3 yet, but I wouldn’t consider them tantrums, more like whining and I will take that any day!!  As he matures and gains a better grasp on communicating, he is that sweet, loving son we always saw despite his monstrous blowups.  And before I forget, the way we currently handle discipline issues is by taking away the things that he loves (pacifier, backpack, shoes, blankey).  All we have to do now is say, “I’m going to take away your sneaker shoes,” and he gets his act together (he calls his sneakers, sneaker shoes lol).  That boy loves him some shoes!  In the beginning, we had to follow through and do it to prove that we were not playing around, so now when we say it, he knows we mean business.  Spankings do not and never worked on Isaac, he is a rough and tough kid and would just take it like a G and afterwards give you a look like, Pssh and what.

It has been a long and arduous journey, but we came through the storm and we are ever so grateful for the little boy our Isaac is turning in to.  I would also rather him act up now, rather than when he is older and uncontrollable.  Of course, we are biased, but we are his parents and we are always going to be rooting for him.  We will always be his biggest fans.  We are always going to love him the most even when there may be times he deserves it the least and that is why God made US his parents.  Let's face it, being a parent is easy, said no one ever!!